18-year-old begs 27-year-old coworker to stop buying her expensive gifts: 'He shows up to work with Ugg's and AirPods, he gave me $400.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 23, 2026 8:00 AM EST

It's not appropriate for him to keep giving her gifts after she has told him to stop.

Gift-giving is one of the most criticized love languages. Some people find it shallow to place more value on buying someone a present than on spending time with them, but that fundamentally misunderstands the value of gift-giving. You don't have to buy someone something to be a gift giver. Gift giving can mean baking cookies and giving them to your friends. It can mean giving someone a penny you found on the ground because it was from the year they were born. Gift giving doesn't have to cost more than a cent. It's more about telling the people around you that you're thinking about them and care about them than it is about sinking a lot of dough into a material object. If you're able to find a gift your friend truly loves, it's a good sign you're a good listener and understand them well. 

Not everybody likes to give and receive gifts, and that's okay, too! Some people get a lot more out of their birthday by sending their family members links to the things they want, and acting surprised when they open exactly what they asked for. Wish lists can be helpful for those who are stressed about buying a gift someone doesn't like. If you're going to write a wish list, you'd better include some reasonably affordable items, or it's virtually useless. Your uncle is unlikely to get you an $800 gift, and he shouldn't be pressured to do so.

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    via Vlad Deep

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  • There are levels of appropriateness and inappropriateness regarding gift-giving. It might be appropriate to give your coworker a going-away present when they leave for a different job, but it's not cool to get a much younger coworker expensive presents that they're obviously uncomfortable with recieving. 

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my coworker to stop buying me gifts?

    I (18f) started at a new job in october. My coworker (27m) immediately started talking to me my first day there.
    via u/divaa420
  • I would talk to him in group settings but he would always try to get me to go with him to his car to breaks, etc.
    via u/divaa420
  • after about a week of me working there he started bringing me starbucks in the morning and even packing me lunch.
    via u/divaa420
  • after 3 weeks he had planned an entire date to go get dinner and ice cream, I had told him I did not want to go and I would only like to be friends at work and he said he understood.
    via u/divaa420
  • He kept bringing me lunch and buying me food but I just kept it friendly and professional and never went anywhere with him. alone.
    via u/divaa420
  • Flash forward to december and my battery had died at work. i had asked him to jump it, he had absolutely no idea what he was doing if im being honest, and on my way home it quite literally caught on fire and he gave me 400 DOLLARS THE NEXT DAY.
    via u/divaa420
  • Person in gray long sleeve shirt jumping a battery
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  • I never said it was his fault or blamed him but like.. idk i tried to refuse the money and then afterwards told him i really do not want him to be giving me money or buying me things really at all because i feel like it's something that can be held over my head he said it's not like that and he does this for all of his friends.
    via u/divaa420
  • then on Christmas, he shows up to work with uggs and AirPods both very expensive things.
    via u/divaa420
  • He said that it was because he felt bad about the car and he was trying to make up for the things that I have lost, but I've never said that I lost UGGs or AirPods in the car because I've never even owned UGGs or AirPods, I don't know.
    via u/divaa420
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  • Then I explained to him again that I only wanted to be friends and that all of these gifts and everything was just too much for me and I just don't like it and he said again that he understood and he was worried that I would think that, but he doesn't want anything with anyone and then he's been talking to other coworkers about the situation insane.
    via u/divaa420
  • He doesn't understand why I brought it up because he knew that I just wanted to be friends and everything and he's just making things awkward with other people that work and I just don't know if I'm in the wrong.
    via u/divaa420
  • I still have the gifts, but I don't know. AITA?
    via u/divaa420
  • LotsofCatsFI This is really scary. It sounds like you have told him to stop multiple times and he's still creeping on you. This is a big safety concern. This behavior is concerning. I would start pulling other people in so you have witnesses and backup. Like tell any women you work with who are friendly "does X do this to everyone, it's making me uncomfortable" I think you need to firmly and loudly decline going forward. Loud enough for others to hear.
    via u/LotsofCatsFI
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply I have talked to other people and it seems like this has been a problem with other people in the past. Including leads and managers which is interesting to me. I have been declining recent offers after the christmas gifts he had asked if i wanted starbucks and canes on 2 separate occasions and i declined both times. he's backed off since then but has been switching his normal tasks to be closer to me even though we aren't talking. my other coworkers are definitel
    via u/divaa420
  • Massive Letterhead90 NTA - but you could be in trouble. Return the gifts (after photographing them. Save any texts or other evidence too.) Stop accepting things and food from him, he will take it as encouragement if you don't stop. Go to HR, or your boss, if he doesn't stop. Consider just getting a new job if you think he's close with the boss or important for the business They will take his side if they feel like it, and you risk being fired even if you haven't done anything wrong.
    via u/Massive_Letterhead90
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply this is exactly what i'm worried about because i had already talked to a supervisor but they had basically said the only thing they can do is move me. he has worked there for 5 years, since the company started and other coworkers have said this is a repeated incident. i work in a warehouse and this is pretty much the last thing they care about
    via u/divaa420
  • ThisWillAgeWell NTA. I might be the asshole because I accepted the gifts even though it made me uncomfortable, and I'm not sure if I should have refused. Yes, you should have refused. You should have refused anything more expensive than a piece of candy or a cup of coffee. In your defense, you are very young, new in the job, and probably not aware that what he's doing is unacceptable. He is considerably older and he knows damn well that hitting on unwilling and much younger coworkers is wrong. H
    via u/ThisWillAgeWell
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply I have already been in contact with lawyers due to another situation because HR had told me that I am too nice and could end up raped and dead on the side of the road so I did talk to them about the situation but very briefly because something else had happened in the midst of all this but I think it's safe to say that HR is not very great it is a small company, but it is definitely growing and I hope they start caring more about things like this.
    via u/divaa420
  • DarkestKure I know I already left you a comment but... If HR is saying that I would f'in leave. There are so many red flags for that place. Screw them and leave. Find a better place to work tbh. THEY SHOULDN'T BE SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT TO A NEW YOUNG WORKER. Then, I personally would go online and blast them for their shit.
    via u/DarkestKure
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply i am looking for a new job and working on a lawsuit
    via u/divaa420
  • maxifreez Definitely NTA. He's lovebombing and getting obsessive and that's weird especially because you have to see him at work. Hopefully you (and other colleagues/bosses) can help establish boundaries, be on the look out, and kinda block him out from any 1 on 1 time
    via u/maxifreez
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply i work in a warehouse so all of this definitely gets overlooked by higher ups. he also has been with the company since they started and i'm pretty much brand new compared to everyone else. it sucks because i really like this job
    via u/divaa420
  • Capable Restaurant11 Don't go anywhere with him alone!! Return the gifs, if you haven't already. If HR or your boss won't help you, start getting loud. As in loudly saying so other people can hear, Leave Me Alone. Stop harassing me. Get yourself some mace. There's this jewelry you can buy that you click and it alerts the police. Get a whistle. This guy will escalate and you have to be ready to defend yourself. Document everything. You're NTA Edited to add, Stop being nice to him
    via u/Capable_Restaurant11
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply i have mase and a taser for this exact reason and i am looking for a new job
    via u/divaa420
  • Sorry_I_Guess First of all, it's not "creeping into the workplace," it's been a workplace issue from the start, since that's the only place it's been happening. Secondly, she should absolutely NOT keep the gifts ... she shouldn't be accepting them in the first place. If she did, that would make her as much of an AH as him. You don't get to accept gifts from someone and then complain that they're giving you gifts. He wouldn't be "twisting" anything if he complained at that point, she'd be a hypoc
    via u/Sorry_I_Guess
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply i understand i shouldn't have accepted the gifts now. but i am young im freshly 18 and out of high school. i haven't had the best home life growing up and the only person ive had around is my dad. ive had to learn a lot of things on my own and i tend to take advice from people around me and a lot of my coworkers were telling me to just accept the stuff. not everything is free in life and most people would have taken the things
    via u/divaa420
  • coffeebuzzbuzzz Recently had this problem at my job. One coworker was attracted to another coworker. She immediately told him she only wanted to be friends. But he kept telling people he wanted to sleep with her. Several people reminded him she did not like him like that at all. He kept persisting. He told everyone about the expensive shoes he was going to buy her for Christmas. She finally goes to the GM to tell him she's uncomfortable about what he was saying behind her back. GM talks to the g
    via u/coffeebuzzbuzzz
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply unfortunately our hr cares more about seniority than their employees safety it has been a problem before this with him
    via u/divaa420
  • htx2025east I dont even know him and he has never gotten me a thing but I feel pressure to go on a date with him after reading your post..
    via u/htx2025east
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply LOL right????
    via u/divaa420
  • revealio22 NTA If it continues I would speak to you boss, see if they can do or say something. You can't be made to feel awkward at work
    via u/revealio22
  • divaa420 Original Poster's Reply I have talked to the higher ups he has been there for 5 years tho and they don't seem to care. They switched me departments so i don't have to see him as much but told me they can't do anything else about it
    via u/divaa420

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gifts presents work coworkers airpods Starbucks uggs expensive older money
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